Allowing yourself to want big and sexy things

What is it that you really want? It sounds like such a simple question, but from my experience as a money mentor, most people don’t know what it is that they truly desire for their business and for their life. In today’s episode, I’m going to encourage you to explore what your deepest desires really are if you allow yourself to remove any of your judgments or your perception of what other people’s judgments might be if you allow yourself to go there. Make sure you stick around for this episode, because you just might have some big a-has in terms of what it is that you really want.

Hello, and welcome to The Clare Wood Podcast, where myself and incredible guests share about money mindset, financial successes, and how to manage your money in a fun and practical way to create wealth and abundance in both your business and your life. I’m your host, Clare Wood. I’m a business coach and a money mentor. I strongly believe that money has the power to positively change the world. I can’t wait to help you transform your mindset around money, create a love of numbers and build the business of your dreams so you can live a life of financial freedom, giving and global impact.

How to expand your thinking about what it is you want

One of the first questions that I ask clients, when we first start working together is what does your dream life look like? And quite often, people can say a few things off the cuff. Like I’d be working less hours. I’d like to be making this much money. But when we dive a little deeper, often I find that there are things that people haven’t even allowed themselves to identify as things that they want. And there’s a number of reasons for that.

The first reason is that it’s really hard for the human brain to even allow yourself to think that something that is really far removed from where you are right now is even possible. When we’re doing this exercise, I’ll keep asking again and again, like what would more look like? What could it look like if you took that even to the next level? And truthfully, like, people feel really uncomfortable answering that. And let me share an example.

I’d say to someone, what would it feel like to be more supported in your home environment? And someone might say, well, I’ve already got a lot of support. I’ve got a lovely, helpful partner. And I have a cleaner that comes every single week. I don’t really need much more support around the house. And I say, well, what if it wasn’t about need? What if it was just about taking that level of support to the next level? And then perhaps might look a little bit confused. And I said, what if you had a full-time housekeeper, someone who literally picked up after your kids every time they drop a toy, they made the beds, they pushed through loads of washing. How would that change your life? And it’s really interesting observing how sometimes this can make people feel a little bit uncomfortable. I don’t need that. And I remind them, we’re not talking about what you need here. We’re talking about what your dream life could look like if you allowed yourself to believe it’s possible.

So if you’re listening to this episode, I’d love for you to spend a moment now and really play into possibility. What could your most, most abundant life look like? Just play with it. What kind of support would you have? Where would you be living? What kind of car would you be driving? What would you be spending your time doing? What would your relationships look like? How many hours a week would you work? You can really play into this and have a lot of fun. There’s a reason that we don’t do this, and usually it’s because we don’t think it’s a possibility for us. Clare, you’re just teasing me by allowing me to imagine my life when I own a yacht, because I know it’s something that’s just not possible for me. I don’t know. Maybe that’s something that sprung into your head.

Dealing with stories to unlock and unblock your potential

And the question I’d like to ask you is why do you think it’s not possible for you? And this is where we can start to explore our money blocks or our stories around money. You might have a story that I can’t make any more money in my current profession. You might have a story, I don’t want to be really rich because … Or whatever your story is that you want to insert there. Here’s the thing. If you don’t think that something is possible for you, chances are you’re not going to put yourself in situations, take actions to align to getting that outcome. So the first step in creating a different reality, whether it comes to money, relationships, connection, your business, how you’re spending your life, the very first step in creating big change is unlocking the possibility in your thinking.

I truly believe that this starts was really playing with those deep desires, really feeling into if you didn’t have any limitations on what you perceived was possible for you, what would that look like? And when you do come to something, could you take it to an even bigger level? And I’m not just talking about superficial things here either. I’m talking about anything that you’re wanting to imagine or create in your life. Perhaps at the moment, you’d like to get to a point where you are generously donating to charities that you care about all the time. And what if you took that to the next level? What if you wanted to run your own charity? What if you wanted to be creating epic change on a global scale? What if there’s a cause that you really, really care about and you want it to be giving millions of dollars, or you wanted to have your own foundation that was creating epic impact in the area that you passionately care about?

Removing judgement from the things that you desire

Unlocking possibility is a really fun thing. And most people don’t ever allow themselves to even play in this space. Once you have got really clear about if the sky was the limit, what you could create in your life, both from a fun and playful and abundant space, from a space of connection, freedom, what you’d be doing with your time, your relationships, all of those different things, I would then love you to explore why you think it’s not possible for you. And usually we have a whole bunch of either stories around why something’s not possible. It’s not possible for someone with my background. It’s not possible because I don’t have wealthy parents. It’s not possible in my industry etc. Or it’s because you have judgments over having the things that you desire.

For example, I couldn’t possibly have a full time housekeeper because my mom would think I’m really lazy, because my neighbors would judge me, because my kids would grow up not knowing how to do housework and they’d be spoiled, little brats. Like really play into any of the stories that pop up when you start to explore those desires. And a lot of time, these stories come back to judgment, a judgment about yourself, a judgment about others who already have that thing, or a judgment about how we perceive that others would judge us if we had it.

So if you were suddenly driving around in your dream car, how would that feel? And maybe straight away you say it would feel freaking amazing. Send me the dream car now. I have zero judgments that I would make on that. And that’s fantastic. Good for you. Or perhaps you think I would love to have the car of my dreams, but I’ve got young kids and I would ruin the leather seats. Or my friends would think I’m up myself if I was driving around in a Range Rover or whatever the dream car is that you desire. Or possibly, it’s just a judgment on yourself. I don’t need to drive a car like that. The car that I’ve got now is perfectly functional and it’s lovely. And spending more money than that on a car is wasteful and wasting money means that I’m a bad person, because there are so many people around the world who are starving and who am I to be driving a expensive, fancy, nice car when there are so many people who are going without.

Can you see how when we unlock the possibility of something being available, there are stories that sit behind it. And inevitably, there are judgments that are sitting behind that. Either judgments of ourselves, judgment of others that have it, or perception of how we think others might judge us if we have these things or if we show up in that way. Or if we have that kind of connection. Or if we have that kind of lifestyle. Or if we have the super successful business. Today, I want to tell you it’s okay to want things. It’s okay to want to create an amazing life. It’s even okay to want a bunch of superficial stuff. I know it’s something that I’ve been working on a lot myself, because I’ve always regarded myself as someone who isn’t materialistic. Why? Because on some level I’m judging other people who have a lot of beautiful things in their life. See how this story plays out.

So I’m starting to allow myself to admit that actually I would love to have some beautiful clothes and a nice car and that’s okay. And when we reach a point, when we say it’s okay to desire things, even if they seem materialistic or unnecessary, it then connects back to this sense of our own worthiness, of having these things. Working on our worthiness or our sense of self-worth or our sense of deservedness is a whole other podcast episode so I’m not going to dive into that today. Instead, I would like to leave you today with the opportunity to start to explore possibility. What is possible for you, if you allow yourself to dream that it’s possible?

As you can see, this mindset work is really hard and creating changes in the way that you think about money can be really challenging. But change is never easy and this work does take time. Thank you so much for tuning into today’s episode and remember, it’s okay to dream and it’s okay to want the big things in your life. You deserve it.

Thanks so much for listening. If you loved this episode, please share it with your audience. And don’t forget to tag me on Instagram at @Clare_Wood_Coach. And also make sure you hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. Have an abundant week, and I look forward to talking to you again next week.