So many of your beliefs around money come from your childhood. As parents we have a big responsibility in the way we talk about money to our children.
In today’s episode, I share why it is important to be mindful when talking to your kids about money and tips on how you can help your kids have a positive relationship with money.
In this Episode:
01.46: The importance of how we talk about money with our kids
06.58: Allowing kids to ask for things they desire (no matter how crazy)
10.39: Empowering kids to make their own money decisions
11.55: Being super clear on money values
12.33: Teaching kids to give money generously to other people and charities
So many of your beliefs around money come from your childhood. So as parents, we have a big responsibility in the way that we talk about money to our children. In today’s episode of the podcast, I am sharing why it’s so important to be mindful about the way that we talk about money and also sharing some of my tips around how myself and my husband talk to our kids about money so that they are learning to have a positive relationship with money. This episode is actually a clip from my live Money Talk on Instagram. So the sound quality might not be as good as what you were used to, but I really wanted to share this episode with you because I think it is such an important topic. If you do want to join me live for my Money Talks, make sure you come over and give me a follow on Instagram, @clare_wood_coach. Let me know in the DMs what you think about talking to your kids about money.
Hello, and welcome to The Clare Wood Podcast where myself and incredible guest share about money mindset, financial successes, and how to manage your money in a fun and practical way to create wealth and abundance in both your business and your life. I’m your host, Clare Wood. I’m a business coach and a money mentor. I strongly believe that money has the power to positively change the world. I can’t wait to help you transform your mindset around money, create a love of numbers and build the business of your dreams, so you can live a life of financial freedom, giving and global impact.
The importance of how we talk about money with our kids
Today I wanted to talk to you about talking about money to children, because money is a bit of a sensitive issue, and particularly as parents, I wanted to talk about how to have difficult conversations with your children about money.
So first and foremost, why is it so important how we talk about money with our kids? Well, the thing is a lot of our stories about money come from our childhood. And I would love for you to think about your own childhood and think about stories that might have come up when it comes to money. I know in my household, there was a lot of things said, like we can’t afford that, talking negatively about wealthy people. In fact, my dad still talks about the rich and the elite and not in a positive way. So the way that we talk about money to our kids has such a powerful impact on their subconscious beliefs around money. This is why it’s really important for us to be very, very mindful about the way that we do talk about money to our kids.
So I do have a couple of tips for you. I’ve spoken about some of the reasons why it’s so important to be very mindful about the impact that our words are having on children. So I’ve got some tips around how my husband and myself talk about money in our house and how we are trying to have a positive relationship with money that we are passing on to our children. So the very first thing is speaking positively about money. And the other day, I heard one of my children say to my other son, he said, “Our parents are rich.” And I smiled because part of me thought by a lot of people’s standard, we aren’t rich, but on the flip side of it, by a lot of other people’s standard, we are very rich, and it was interesting that our children have that perception that we are wealthy. And the reason is, is because of how we speak and we speak positively about money. So some examples are, we are very mindful not to say we can’t afford that. We are very careful not to say bad things about people who are having great experiences with money. And the way that we are speaking about money all the time is in a really positive way, because we know that that is what is being fed onto our children and their thoughts around money. The second thing that we do is we have identified what our money values are, and we allow our children to observe that. And we allow them to see that we are spending money on things that are important to us.
So our values, my husband’s and my values when it comes to money, things that we find really important is being able to eat great food. So we shop at a butcher. We shop at a baker. We shop at a green grocer. We love to buy beautiful, fresh ingredients and eat beautiful, healthy food. And again, I recognize my privilege around this, that we are very grateful that this is an option for us, but it’s something that’s important to us. So it’s something that we do spend money on. Another thing that’s really important to us is travel. We love to travel. And from when my husband and I first met, we’ve been overseas every single year include with our children up until the last couple of years, for obvious reasons. But up until then, we had been going overseas every year and we were allowing our children to come experience different cultures to have adventures because it’s something that’s very important to us. Now on the flip side of that, some things that at this point in our life, and I do put that disclaimer in, because maybe in the future, this will be something that’s important to us, but right here and right now, something like designer label clothes isn’t something that’s important to me and my husband. And if you’ve ever hung out with me, I’m sure you would notice that. Buying expensive makeup. Again, maybe in the future that will change, but at this point in time, it’s not something that is a big priority for me. It’s not something that I value. So it’s not something that I spend money on. And similarly with our children, our children do not have lots of clothes. We sometimes hang out with other children who are dressed gorgeously all the time. They’ve got cutest little outfits on. And maybe in the future, that is something that we will value, but right here, right now, that’s not a priority for us. So it’s not something that we are investing our money in. And I guess the point that I’m trying to make with all of this is that when it comes to money, it’s really about saying, this is what’s important for us and this is what we are spending money on.
Allowing kids to ask for things they desire (no matter how crazy)
The next thing that I wanted to say around money and around how we interact with money with our kids is that we allow our kids to ask. Now, I want to be super clear here. We are not saying yes to them all the time. In fact, most of the time when our kids ask for something, it’s a no, but one thing that we say is we say, “That’s great that you are asked,” or “Good on you for asking.”
So when we go to the shops, our kids, like any kids, they walk around and they grab every toy, “Can I have this? Can I have this? Can I have this? Can I have this?” And instead of saying, “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not having it. You’re never having it,” which I say, “No, no, you can’t have it.” And I say, “But good on you for asking.” Now I know this is such a little thing, but I think what happens in life is that we are born with this innate sense that everything is owed to us. Right? Kids are just always like, “I want this. Go and get this for me.” And throughout life, we have experiences where we get told no, or “That’s ridiculous,” or “Don’t ask for that.” And we really want to empower our kids and say, “You know what, maybe you won’t get it, but good on you for asking. Don’t give up your hope. Don’t give up the potential of asking for things that you want, even when it’s crazy.”
I know my four-year-old, one day, came downstairs and he came down. I said, “What would you like for breakfast, honey?” And he says, “I want lollies.” And I said, “Pardon?” And he said, “Can I have lollies for breakfast?” And I laughed and I said, “Good on you for asking. The answer’s no, but good on you. Good on you for giving it a shot, confidently asking for what it is that you want.” I want my kids to think that nothing is too crazy to ask for in life. When they grow up, I want them to chase big things and think that nothing is too crazy to think that they can have it.
So Kirsty wants to know, “Do you chat to them about where money comes from?” That is an excellent question. And yeah, absolutely, we do. My kids see me on Instagram a lot and I say, “This is what mom does to make money.” And their dad, he runs a recruitment firm. He’s also an entrepreneur. And quite often, he’ll have to take calls when we are with the kids, and I always say, “Daddy’s making money.” And I want them to see that we love, we love what we do, we love our work. And the kids can observe us making money from doing what it is that we love. And so, yeah, absolutely. We talk to them about where money comes from. I have spoken to them and I’ll get into this a little bit later, but I have said to them, “Well, how do you think that you could make more money? What are some opportunities for you to make money?” And I do say to them, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” And really bringing them on the journey and showing them about where money comes from.
So like I said, the second thing that we do is we allow our kids to ask for crazy things, and in fact, we really encourage them to do so, even though the answer’s often no, or not right now, should I say. So if they want lollies, maybe they’re not going to get it right now, but you know what, when they’re in their twenties, they can have it. And this is something when we are asking for anything that we are wanting to create or manifest in our lives, people often think that it’s a no, but sometimes it’s just a “No, not right now.” And I think that if you truly hang onto the hope and keep asking and asking and asking, maybe it’s not in the timeframe that you wanted, but it will come to you eventually.
Empowering kids to make their own money decisions
The next thing that I wanted to say is that we empower kids to make their own money decisions. Now, obviously this is on a very micro level. My kids are only four and six at this point in time, but we’ve given them both wallets. And I gave them both not a huge amount of money, but I gave them both some money. And I said, “What are you going to do with your money?” And one of them is like, “I’m going to buy junk food.” He was so excited. And then the other one said, “I’m going to save it, and I’m going to buy a house like you and dad. I’m going to buy a big house.” And I thought that was really cool that they were already starting to say, well, what’s important to us when it comes to money? And then they were starting to question each other because then the big one said, “Oh, so you don’t want to have any junk food?” And the little one was like, “Well, maybe I do want to have some junk food.” He’s like, “Maybe I’ll have a little bit of junk food.” And then the big one was like, “Well, maybe I do want to buy a house as well.” So I know it’s very early, but we’re just starting to show them about the choices that you can make when it comes to money, starting to show them what can you do with your own money, and really allowing them to start to make their own decisions about what they value when it comes to money.
Being super clear on money values
The next thing that I think that is something that we are really working on is finding the balance between giving our kids amazing experiences and showing them, “Hey, this is what money can do. This is why money is a great thing,” and balancing that with not spoiling them. So what this looks like in every different family is going to be different, but it’s really about going, okay, well, are you just saying yes to everything that your kids want? We certainly are not. Trust me. But also saying, “Hey, our businesses are going well, and we get to go and have great experiences like this.”
Teaching kids to give money generously to other people and charities
And then the next thing that I wanted to share is that we are also teaching our kids to be generous with money. And again, this is a money value of mine. I’ve been around people who are generous to a flaw with their money, generous to the fault to the extent that they have no money themselves because they’re constantly giving it all away. And I actually personally believe that that is a money block. If you aren’t able to hold onto your money, if you feel like you are unworthy of it to the extent that whenever you get any, you go, “Oh my gosh, I’ve got to spend it all on other people,” or “Oh my gosh, I’ve got to give it all the way to charity because I don’t deserve to have any money myself,” that is definitely a money block.
But the flip side of it is, is that if you have money and you hang onto every single cent of it, you won’t invest it into your business, you won’t invest it into having a nice life, you won’t invest it into giving generously to people who aren’t as fortunate as you, I also believe that that’s a money block. So something that we do again with money is that when we see the little guide dogs… Here in Australia, we’ve got guide dogs. They’re these little plastic dogs, and it’s for people who have vision impairments and they have these guide dogs to help them. So there’s these plastic dogs everywhere, and my kids are always like, “Can I have some coins to go put in the dog?” At the supermarket, there’s usually these bins where you can donate money. You can donate non-perishable food. And so we go and buy things and we say to our kids, “Would you like to go and put this in?” And then we explain to them there are some people who aren’t as lucky as us, and I say that they don’t actually have homes and they don’t have food to eat, and we are very lucky that we have the opportunity to do that. And we get the kids to actually pick things and go and put it in to donate it as well. And I think that that is really important to also teach our kids about privilege, about how lucky we are that we’ve come from a world, an upbringing, our race, all of these things where we are fortunate enough that we don’t have to worry about money. We don’t have to worry about being able to put food on the table. And a lot of people in the world aren’t that fortunate. So that’s another way that we are really helping our kids to learn about money is teaching them about our privilege and teaching them about how we can give to other people who aren’t as fortunate as ourselves.
I’ve got a question here from Janice. “Do you give pocket money for chores?” That is a great question. And at this point in time, we don’t. It’s definitely something, like I said earlier, I said to my kids, because they’re like, “I’ve got no money left.” And I said, “Well, what could you do?” And then my big boy said, “Maybe we could do something to earn some money.” Like I said, they’re only four and six, but that is definitely something that I will be bringing into our house. When I was growing up, my parents gave us a very generous… When I say very generous, let me explain a little bit more about it, but basically they gave us an allowance and they were empowering us to spend the money in a way that we thought was appropriate. So when I say it was very generous, I think it was $20 a week, which sounds like a lot of money. And back then it really was, but we had to buy our own clothes out of that. So if we needed shoes for school, if we wanted to buy runners, if we needed clothes, we also had to sort of use our money and go, “Okay. Do I want to go to the movies or do I want to buy a new shirt?” And I think that there is so much power in that, in teaching kids to make decisions. And if you followed me for a while, you will know that I’m a big believer in you deciding your own money values and you deciding the most appropriate way to spend your money and enjoy your money in a way that works for you. I know that some people talk a lot about putting aside this percentage or about wealth creation, but for some people, maybe that’s not your value. And I think it’s the same with kids. It’s really going, “Well, what do you want to do with it? What do you want to do with your money?” So definitely something that we’ll be embracing in time. Anyway, so thank you so much for tuning in to my very first episode of Money Talk about talking to your kids about money.
Just to sum up what we covered today, so the first thing that I said is that it’s really important to be very mindful about the way that you talk about money, because the way that you talk about money to your children becomes part of their subconscious programming about what they believe when it comes to money. As parents, we have a big responsibility to be mindful about the way that we are talking about money, because it will have a knock-on effect to our children their whole lives.
So some of the tips that I shared about how we talk to our kids about money.
- We speak positively about money.
- We allow the kids to ask for things they desire, even if they seem crazy and even if the answer is going to be a no.
- We are super clear on our money values and we share that with our children and allow them to witness us spending money and enjoying money on the things that are important to us.
- We empower our kids to make their own money decisions.
- We teach kids to be generous with other people, with friends and also with people who are less fortunate than themselves.
Thanks so much for listening. If you love this episode, please share it with your audience. And don’t forget to tag me on Instagram, @clare_wood_coach, and also make sure you hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. Have an abundant week and I look forward to talking to you again next week.