Creating unshakeable confidence with Shelly Horton

Shelly Horton’s Bio

Not many people have the skills to come up with the ideas, produce the concept and then jump in front of the camera to present them.

But Shelly Horton has never been afraid of forging her own path.

Shelly’s opinion can be heard nationally a number of times a week; whether it’s her regular segments on Channel Nine’s Today Show, Today Extra, Weekend Today and the 3pm News; her lifestyle segments on 9Honey or co-hosting Talking Married on 9Life.

You can also hear her regulalry chatting to Richard Glover on ABC Radio or catch her online co-hosting her controversial health web series – Things You Can’t Talk About On TV.

Her behind-the-camera credits include producing for the most watched entertainment program in the world, Entertainment Tonight America, Channel Nine’s A Current Affair and ABC TV’s George Negus Tonight, Mondo Thingo and Sunday Arts. She also hosted and produced her own TV show in the UK called “What’s On In London”.

Her dream is to host her own chat show. She thinks The Shelly Show has a mighty fine ring to it.

Transcript

CLARE:

Today I chat to Shelly Horton, who is an Australian tv presentor, a journalist, and she’s the owner of Shell Shock Media, and in her business, she trains people how to present on camera, and teaches them about how to best manage media opportunities, but my favourite part of what she does, is she teaches about confidence. Now today, Shelly is with us, and she shares how even she has moments of self-doubt, but she shares her secrets for appearing confident, no matter how you feel even inside. This episode is an absolute must-listen if you want to shine, and look and feel confident in your business.

You’re listening to the Clare Wood podcast, where we talk all things business, finance, marketing, and mindset for entrepreneurs, sharing practical tips, and actionable advice to help you take your business to the next level. Introducing your host: me! I’m Clare Wood, I’m a numbers geek, a travel lover, and a reality tv addict, and I’m here to empower you to create an extraordinary business and an amazing life, because I believe you don’t have to choose between the two. Now let’s dive right in to today’s episode.

Hello everyone! I am pumped to have today’s guest because today we have joining us, the one and only, Shelly Horton! Now, I’m a massive fan of hers and I have to admit one of the reasons is I love Married at First Sight, but Shelly has a lot more to her name than being a host on Married so, Shelly, anyone who doesn’t know you, can you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your business?

SHELLY:

Sure, well I am pumped to be chatting to you! My name is Shelly Horton and I’m a journalist, and yes, a lot of people might know me from talking Married because Married at First Sight was a fabulous train wreck; it actually shocks me the number of people who watched and the different types of people that watched, we even had like a seventy year old talking to my mum and dad about how much he loved the show, which is just hilarious.

So, besides that, I also work at Channel Nine, so I also do regular spots on Today Extra, Today Show, Weekend Today, the 3pm News, Twenty-to-One, what else? A Current Affair sometimes.. So yeah, I basically, I’m on the tele a couple of times a week, and I own my own company called Shell Shocked Media, and through that company I teach presentation tips and training for people who might wanna be on tv, and I also have a confidence course because I’m finding that that seems to be something that’s really connecting with people at the moment. I like to describe it as I help people find their inner Beyonce –

CLARE:

I love that as a catch phrase! It’s such an important skill and something I saw on your website – and I definitely agree on this, for anyone who’s listening and thinking – that I am not a confident person – confidence can be learned, right?

SHELLY:

Absolutely! And I think of it as a skill, it’s just like learning another language. The thing is, you have to practice it, and it’s one of those great skills, that once you’ve got the tips and tools, it doesn’t matter if your confidence dips, because you’ll know what to do to get your confidence back, because no one is confident one hundred percent of the time. I’m not, like I definitely have ups and downs, the thing is, I now know what to do to get myself back up and to be performing at my best.

CLARE:

Yeah, I love that. And I think that’s a massive lesson for anyone that’s listening, as Shelly touched on, you can learn these skills, I know for me, I was a really unconfident teenager, and I feel actually as I’m getting older and starting to practice these skills a lot more, that definitely, my confidence has grown a lot, so okay fab.

Well, I’d love to know, you’re in the media everywhere –

SHELLY:

Are you calling me a media whore?

CLARE:

No, I love it! And, anyone who’s listening and wants to know, a little bit about your journey – how did you start getting roles in the media in the first place?

 SHELLY:

Well, I did my journalism degree, I’m a Queenslander, so I went to university – I know, love Queenslanders! And basically, from doing my journalism degree, I ended up moving to Melbourne and became a crime reporter for ABC Radio and I loved it, I’m a little bit of a freak in that way that I love a crime scene!

CLARE:

It’s cool!

SHELLY:

I know, right? I was like, living an episode of CSI! No, I did that, then I, like so many Aussies, decided I wanted to work in London, I went over to London, worked at a tv station there.. Had never even been in a tv station before, and then, next thing you know – I got a job at a station called Channel One – which is kind of like Sky News, in that it’s the twenty four hour roll in news, and I had a bit of a Bridget Jones moment that kind of defined my career in that I had a job as a line up producer and that is very much behind the scenes, checking spelling and grammar and making sure that everything went smoothly in the bulletins and then one day, the sports presenter came in, and he was known to have a bit of a coke habit, and he had gone out on a blinder, and had lost his voice, so he did the first bulletin with a bit of a croaky voice, and then he actually lost his voice completely, like instead of just croaky it went – and nothing would come out.

Anyway, so I had my executive producer at the time, her name was Virginia Trussard, such an English name, Ginie, and she said to me, Shelly, did you ever read the news on tv in Australia? I was twenty four – hadn’t been in a tv station, so I looked her straight in the eye and I said “Yes!” Absolutely lied. And so, I was like – I am not gonna give up this opportunity, so then I basically had to read spot – which is so hard with all of those names, you know, tennis players’ names, this that, and the other. But I was just like, okay, so I’ve come into the old “Fake it til you make it,” and I was terrified, but I couldn’t tell them I was terrified, so I just had to act confident, so I sat down in that chair, and I basically read the sports bulletin, and I ended up making about all mistakes, which is not acceptable in like a four minute sports bulletin, but it was one of those things where, because I had a twinkle in my eye and was being a bit cheeky, people loved it, so they kind of let me get away with the mistakes, until the end, where I basically was just reading because I was so scared and instead of saying “Plymouth” I said “ply-mouth” and so the switchboard lit up and was like “why would the convict be reading the news, we’ve got a stupid kangaroo on our station.

Anyway, by the time that I had done that bulletin, a proper tv presenter had been called back for the story. And she finished the day, so we only did that one bulletin, and the next day I got called into the CEO’s office, and I thought I was going to get fired. Instead, the CEO was just like “so you read for spot yesterday” and I was just like “oh yeah, I’m so sorry, it was an emergency, I just had to help” and he was like “yeah we’ve had a lot of feedback,” I’m like – “I’m sorry about that” – He was like – “No, no, no, a lot of it is basically their teasing you rather than actually making complaints,” and he said “So uh, I’ve had a look back and watched the bulletin again, you know how they say some people have that X Factor; you’ve got it and I’m giving you your own entertainment show.”

I hosted my own TV Show in London at age twenty four, and absolutely loved it. So that’s kind of when I got the bug to do tv, and then – it wasn’t that my show closed down, my station closed down.. It was like, pretty dramatic. So, then I came back to Australia and I decided to live in Sydney, I figured that was where all the big media geeks are, so I got a job at Channel Nine, and I worked there as a reporter producer on Entertainment Tonight, that was hosted by Richard Wilkins and Mary Petani, and then I moved around and I worked at A Current Affair as a producer, I worked at Triple J, and then I really wanted to be back on tv, but I was kind of not brave enough to say it, and I actually did this amazing goal setting course – it was like a TAFE weekender course, it was all about creating your perfect workday, and you have to write a letter to yourself about your perfect workday and what it does is that becomes your goal, that can be twenty years away, but for me it was accepting a goal of the Shelley Show, and so my boss and mentor Alison Ray just said to me, Well, if that’s what you really want, why are you in radio? You’ve got to move to tv.

I was basically still scared about it, but having that goal, I then broke it all down, instead of just having the big goal, I broke it down into a one year goal, a six month goal, weekly goals, and talking daily goals, so what I did everyday was instead of going into work at Triple J with my hair in pigtials and ripped jeans like I used to, I went camera-ready. I got up a bit early, I blow-dried my hair, I did my makeup. And then my weekly goal was to actually be brave enough to say to one new person every week that I wanted to get back into tv, because I figured if I wasn’t brave enough to say it, I wasn’t brave enough to get the job. And then after just six weeks of doing that, I had one of the old grumpy old producers in ABC radio pull me aside and he was just like, “Hey Shelly, remember last week in the coffee room you said that you wanted to get back into tv? A mate of mine is starting a new tv show at ABC and I told him about you, and you’ve got an audition.”

And I went and got the audition and I got the job!

CLARE:

Wow!

SHELLY:

And I was back on track, and I absolutely loved working with George, and it was a really exciting time. I did that for about four years, then I sort of moved around within ABC, both on camera and off, and strangely enough I took a job at the Herald, which is a newspaper in Sydney, the weekend paper, as the gossip columnist, and I’m like – “Why would anyone want to be a gossip columnist, its ridiculous” I figured I was getting off track to my goal but that this would probably be great for raising my profile, which it certainly did, and so I promised myself I’d only do it for a year. And I stayed six. I had so much fun, I worked out that in those six years I went to one thousand, five hundred events. That is a lot of small talk, a lot of champagne and a lot of canapés!

CLARE:

You’ve got to have some good gossip under your sleeves, you’d know a lot of things about a lot of people!

SHELLY:

Absolutely! And trust me, I wasn’t doing it on the soda waters, I was doing it, you know, and nobody’s gonna trust a gossip columnist who’s sober, so I was yeah, on the champagne. I even had a saying – cos I was invited to so many events – I would say “ No Moey, no go-ey!”

While I was there, I got approached by Channel Seven to start doing regular segments on Sunrise, the Morning Show, and Weekend Sunrise; So there was a segment that used to be called “Angels” and I was doing that three mornings a week, as well as working fulltime, and out at functions each night, which was pretty exhausting, so I did that for awhile and then I left Fairfax and I got a job at Mama Mia, and I worked there as their head of video, and set up their video channels and also posted a lot of their video content, it was also when I was there and not particularly happy that I just realized most of the issues I have with my career is I just don’t get along with my bosses, I think I have a real problem with authority. It was actually great, because it motivated me to set up my own company and become my own boss, that was four years ago.

My husband, Darren Robinson and I set up Shellshock Media and we haven’t looked back. It was, in one month, we moved house, got married in Mexico, both quit our jobs, and started a new business. BOOM that’s a lot! It’s kind of like applying a bikini wax, you’ve just got to rip it off! So, we did that, and then we had just started this company, and I got a call from Channel Nine, I got head hunted to make the move over to Nine, and I was really not sure about it, because I’m a very loyal person and by that stage I had been with Channel Seven for eight years, but I hadn’t really progressed, I’d stayed in that same role for eight years, so Channel Nine were very interested in expanding what I did.

So basically, I started on weekend spots for Today Extra, and Today Show, and Today, just similar to what I did at Seven. But then I got introduced to Nine Honey, which is the Womens Website attached to Channel Nine and basically found the best boss I had ever had in my career, her name is Carrie Ellstop and she is a legend, and from there, she was like – Okay I don’t want you just writing for me, I want you to do video content as well, I want you to do tv, and she was the one who came up with the idea for Talking Married, so I got to host my show that I had always wanted to host a show, and it is terrifying, I can talk about losing confidence there, when you’ve got an earpiece there with people talking in your ear, while you’re reading auto-cue or doing an interview, its almost schizophrenic, it’s a real skill.

So, on top of that, our company is going gang busters with all of our media training and presentation training, so its worked out really well.

CLARE:

I love that, and I actually got goose bumps then. You know, sometimes I find that when you put things out there to the universe, these solutions come out there to you. And a big part of it is just saying hey, what is it that I want? And then when you know, and just going out there and saying – this is what I want.. It’s funny how incredibly quickly these opportunities just get presented to you, isn’t it?

SHELLY:

Yeah and I think also a key is being brave enough to say it. You never know who might be listening, or who might know someone, they might just store it away for another time and then it comes back to you. So, its really important!

CLARE:

Oh absolutely! And I met Shelly at the “Business Chicks: Night to Thrive” event in Sydney and I remember Emma Isaac saying, one of the big things that women often don’t do is ask. We don’t ask for the opportunity, and she says that when people are brave enough to do it, she really tries to support them, when people ask for a pay rise or an opportunity. That  was such a powerful lesson for me, and in fact I asked you if you’d come and appear on this podcast, so its wonderful to have you here, I’ve been blown away with the success of this podcast so far –

SHELLY:

I know!

CLARE:

Thank you so much! Interesting actually, you mentioned you got married in Mexico! I did as well! Where abouts in Mexico did you get married?

SHELLY:

We got married in Puerto Vallarta, which is on the west coast!

CLARE:

Oh, fab! We got married just outside of Cancun, have you heard of Playa Mahayas?

SHELLY:

Yes!

CLARE:

We actually eloped – we didn’t tell anyone we were getting married, and time just slipped away..

SHELLY:

That was my husband’s dream, but not mine!

CLARE:

Yeah, I have to say: I don’t know that my mum and my sister were that supportive of the outcome, but it was perfect for us, and it’s such a beautiful, beautiful part of the world, cool that we both got married there!

So coming back to your business, one of the things that I mentioned, I’ve got a particular interest in your training around confidence, and training yourself how to talk on video, and having that ability to put yourself out there. Something I found with clients of mine, and I work with a lot of really successful business women, that behind the scenes, there’s actually a real lack of confidence, and I’m  wondering if I’ve noticed if this is something that tends to affect women more than men? And if so, why do you think that is?

SHELLY:

I would actually say we’ve got a fairly 50/50 split, we’ve got people coming to do the media training, where I’m training them to do video and tv, but the confidence course has only been done by women so far. They’re similar skills, but its been interesting the people who’ve done the course, and why they’ve done it. So I had one business woman who did the course, and her whole reason for doing it, was she had to lay off some staff, and she was getting really emotional, and basically wanted to not make the whole situation worse, by her getting nervous and so she actually did the course to get the confidence to part ways with some stuff.

She rang me afterwards and she said, Okay, this is gonna sound really weird, but it went so well, as hard as it was! I had another Queensland woman who flew down because it was her business ten year birthday, she had to give a speech to her clients, she was like – I’m a behind the scenes person, I’m the CEO, I’m fine in a staff meeting, but I want this to be great! So we really worked on her nerves, and also just using confident language, when she’s talking about her business.

I had another woman come, a young woman, her mum actually bought the course for her, because she was really unhappy at work, and we worked on why she wasn’t feeling confident, and by the time she left, she was quitting her job and going somewhere else. There’s a pretty big impact on people, they make different decisions and do things differently when they feel confident. So I do feel that it is a female thing, and I do feel that its something that so many women can get better at, and I can give them the tools to do it.

CLARE:

I love that! And, again, I know personally, from my journey, that it is something that you can learn, but it does take practice, and it is something that takes skills, and having someone that does know what they’re doing, in the space to teach you, makes all the difference!

So, while we’re on this subject, what are your tops tips for growing confidence? Or even just giving the appearance that you’re confident?

SHELLY:

Yeah, you don’t have to feel it. I’m all about fake it til you make it. That’s fine! And I find if I’m not feeling confident, but I have to look like I’m confident, for example, tv, I fake it for the first twenty seconds, and then you do feel confident. So it comes really quickly, it kicks in really quickly. I would say, my biggest advice, is about preparation, and I think the way I would describe it would be, you wouldn’t feel confident that you’re gonna do something if you’re thinking you’re gonna do poorly at it, so imagine you have an exam coming up and you haven’t studied, you’re not gonna be feeling good about the exam. On the flip side, you do the preparation, you put in the time, you’ll be feeling confident. So I actually teach people to think about life as an exam, like put in the prepping, and it might be that you need to be confident to give a speech, or it might be that you need to be confident to ask for a pay increase, like its relevant to all situations.

What I suggest is you have to have practiced, you have to work out what you’re actually gonna say. I’m a big believer in dot points, I don’t like anyone writing things out in full and trying to memorize things because I know that sounds stilted and robotic and if you lose your way, then all of a sudden you freeze because you don’t know where  you wanna go next, so I suggest reduce it down to dot points, so that they have the freedom to tell the story however it comes out, then to actually practice saying it in the mirror or on your iphone, or if you’re washing your hair in the shower, because preparing in your head, doesn’t count for squat, if you haven’t actually said it outloud, because your mouth doesn’t actually form the words sometimes. So you actually have to practice saying it outloud. I feel like, by organizing your thoughts, reducing them to dot points, you’ll have that confidence, because you know, you’re going to deliver well.

So I kind of reduce all of that to my favourite motto which is the Five P’s: Prior Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.

CLARE:

I love it! I’ve actually heard that one before and I have to say, it’s a favourite of mine. Now I’ve watched you many times on tv, I’ve watched you present in person, and honestly Shelly, you ooze confidence, there’s just this air about you, and you’ve got just such an amazing energetic energy about you – Do you have moments where you find yourself nervous, anxious, you know, feeling like, I don’t really deserve to be here, I don’t really know what I’m doing here?

SHELLY:

One hundred percent! So, you saw me on Business Chicks, now I had to present on that stage, to two thousand women, for eight hours and I prepared like crazy for that! But the night before, when I was rehearsing for that, burst into tears! I was like, “I’m gonna fail, they’re gonna hate me, it’s gonna be dreadful” I cry all the time, but I also think, if you don’t feel nervous, it means you don’t care. You’ve gotta have a little bit of butterflies to have adrenaline and to want to perform really, really well. As much as I would like to have it a bit of a process that I don’t have a bit of a cry, I’m kind of just like yeah, this is really important to me! Another thing is yeah, I am really comfortable with putting my hand up and saying yeah, when I’m not coping, I need to speak to a psychologist.

My favourite psychologist is Doctor Tim Sharpe, he is from the Happiness Institute – he was sort of talking me through this imposter syndrome, and one great tip that really stuck with me, is him saying, “Okay stop, those are thoughts, where are the facts? Have you ever failed on stage before? Have you ever been dreadful? Have you ever not been able to follow through?” No! So okay, the thoughts are there, but you don’t have to give them weight, you just have to be able to move on. So that has sort of helped me just sort of thinking, Yeah, and even sometimes with Live TV, it can be quite terrifying, things change in the moment on tv, it was getting to the point where I was getting quite stressed, concerned and worried that I wasn’t enough, and you can’t really prepare completely for live tv, because you don’t know what the possible outcomes can be. So, the other thing that he said was, “you don’t have to be totally prepared for this one moment, because you’ve been preparing for twenty five years, in your career.” And I really liked that, that kind of – give yourself a bit of credit, for doing the hard yards and getting out there, so I definitely have imposter syndrome, and you know, I grew up in Kingaroy in Queensland, population 5,000, like what the hell am I doing on tv?

CLARE:

I’ve got another hack for anybody whose followed my journey, anyone who’s listening would know I’ve got a terrible phobia of public speaking, but I continue to put myself out there, and I’ve got an event that I spoke at recently, and while I was talking, I literally, I could feel my hands sweating, and every part of me was saying – Get out of there – and obviously I couldn’t, so I just stood there, and in my mind, I was bright red, I was profusely sweating, I was stumbling over my words, I just thought – everyone’s going to just think what an idiot I am, and someone recorded it, and posted it on bloody Youtube, eventually, a couple of weeks later, I watched the video back, and I look fine! It was the most surreal thing for me, because I know what was going on inside of me at that moment, to then watch it I was like – hang on, what I thought was going on, was not going on at all. So I guess that was another thing, and again like, Shelly, you came out with the most incredible.. I was like – “This woman is confidence goals!” So its really comforting to know you do feel that fear, but you keep getting out there, you keep getting out of your comfort zone..

SHELLY:

I also use the things that I teach, I do a breathing exercise to calm down, I do vocal warm ups and facial warm ups and I consider myself a pretty good client actually!

CLARE:

You’re your best client! Love it! So, a question I love to ask my guests on this show, because running a business is if not the hardest thing I’ve ever done – I always love to ask entrepreneurs, what has been the biggest challenge you’ve faced when running your own business?

SHELLY:

Saying no! Trusting that the work will still be there because we’re four years in, and I easily slip into working seven days a week – easily, there’s always work to be done, and I ended up pinching a nerve in my neck, and the physio said its from overwork, your body’s not designed to work seven days a week, it needs rest days. It was only when I had a physical symptom that I even acknowledged the mental toll of working seven days a week – I’m even trying to not work seven days a week. I say that and then I’m like, yeah but I’ll just do that on Saturday.. I’m working on it!

So I guess saying no, but also trusting in yourself and your business that you’ve got a good product, and people will want to come to you even if you’re not available on weekends. If I’m being honest I probably still work too much!

CLARE:

And its not a perfect.. it’s not like there’s this black and white line, sometimes in business you have to be working a bit harder, or there’s things that have to be done, or they have to be done by you, but its not a sustainable term, and it is super important that you do take that down time, and I love what you said too about trusting that more will come, I know for me, once I started saying no, no to the wrong clients, started saying no to things that weren’t quite right, then actually more amazing opportunities present themselves. So its easy to say, but when you have that faith and that trust that more will come, then more does come.

SHELLY:

Yeah, I completely agree. And even, I’ve had times where I’m like, I must do this training, and it must be this week, old me would be like, okay, we’ll fit it in, maybe, could we do it after work, and we’ll work til 9pm and we’ll get it done. Now I’m like actually, I’m fully booked this week, how about next week? And then when you say that to them, they’re like, yeah okay!

CLARE:

I couldn’t agree more with that! I’ve had someone say once to me, Okay I have to move it, and I’ve actually said, That works so much better for me – and I’ve found with my clients, if on occasion I have to move something or whatever, people actually go, that works so much better for me. It’s funny how in your head, you go “oh no if I say no to this, it’s the end and I’ll lose this opportunity..” but most of the time that isn’t the case!

So for anyone who’s been listening and thinking, Shelly, I want in! Can you teach me to master the art of confidence, or even how to face a media opportunity? How can they learn more about you and Shellshocked media?

SHELLY:

Go to our website, shellshockedmedia.com and basically I have all of our courses are available there, you can look at them in the pricings, there’s lots of different ways to skin a cat, and basically I do in person one-on-one training, is my main training, because I find, firstly people want to learn from me directly, and I can work with them on the issue they need to overcome, and so that’s a four hour course, most people do that and then have to go and have a nap, because it’s quite exhausting. I also have an online version for people who don’t live in Sydney, so you can do my online course, and I created that last year with my husband, and its 23 videos and tasks, or challenges that I set, basically you can do that at your own pace.. Some people will smash that out in a night, and some people will take the time to do it as homework and make sure that they’re making changes. So you’ve got the two options there

CLARE:

Fabulous! I’ll be putting the links in the notes for today’s episode, so if you check out Clarewood.com.au/podcast and you look for the episode and you’ll be able to see all the notes for today as well as Shelly’s website. Thank you so much for joining us today, I have taken so much away from today, and I’m sure our listeners have to, so thank you so much for your time!

SHELLY:

You’re so welcome, and congrats again on the podcast!

CLARE:

Thanks so much! Thank you so much for joining me today, if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure you subscribe to receive future episodes, and I’d be so grateful for a review on apple podcast! If you’d like a copy of the show notes or any of the links mentioned today, please jump over to clarewood.com.au/podcast and remember that Clare is spelled CLARE, have a wonderful week and look forward to chatting to you again soon!