How to attract soul sister friendships

* Transcript created by AI – may contain errors or omissions from original podcast audio

 An area of my life that lately I feel like I’ve been exploding with gratitude in is the area of friendships. I am so blessed to have so many soul sister friendships in my world. And in today’s episode of the podcast, I wanted to talk about how to attract and build soul sister friendships.

  Today’s episode of the podcast is being brought to you by my upcoming retreat, which is being held on the beautiful Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia on the 16th and 17th of November. This just might be where you find your new best best friends. This retreat is going to be an immersive two days where we disconnect to reconnect with each other and also work heavily on your deep held money beliefs and do some work around setting you up for a successful 12 months ahead.

The retreat costs includes a night accommodation, yoga, and sound healing sessions and deep sessions of working on your money so that you can project your business forward in the new year. If you would like to find out more about this retreat, you can click on the link in the show notes for today’s episode. There are only eight spots available. It is a very high touch point. Intimate retreat. So please, if this is something you are keen to find out more about, go and click on that link and you can book your spot from as little as $350 Australian a month. There’s a payment plan so that you can pay it off in the lead up to the retreat. If it feels like a fit, I would love to spend a couple of days with you at my upcoming retreat. So talking about soul sister friendships, talking about really deep connections, how do you actually find those kinds of people who are your people? My biggest hint. In this space is to look for people who have alignment and across your different friendships group, this might be alignment in different areas. It might be alignment in terms of your hobbies. It might be alignment in terms of your goals. It might be alignment in terms of the life stage that you are at, and it might be alignment in terms of your values. In fact, I would strongly argue that all of your friendships should be with people who have aligned values to you.

So if you are seeking to find people who are in an aligned state with you, think about what that looks like for you at this stage. What are the things that you are wanting to create? What are the things that you enjoy? And how can you find people who similarly are Doing the same things or heading in the same directions.

An example of this might be when I had my babies I joined a mother’s group because I was finding people who were at the same stage of life as me, who were going through the same things as me. And I made some really beautiful friendships and connections from people in my mother’s group. If you were someone who loves running, maybe you’re training for a marathon at the moment. Maybe you might meet people inside a running club. If you are a successful entrepreneur, who’s wanting to step into the energy of people with big dreams and big ambitions, a place to do this might be at networking events, inside high level masterminds, at retreats. And as I mentioned in the intro to today’s episode, my retreat that I’m hosting might be a place to go and connect with high level entrepreneurs who have big dreams like yourself.

So think about the kind of alignment, the kind of connections that you were looking for. I am incredibly blessed to have a really wide group of friends from all different walks of life. And each of them we have different points that we connect on different, you know, Things that we have in common. For example, I’ve got my, my group of mom friends and, you know, our kids are all of similar ages. And I have a lot of entrepreneurial friends who are chasing big dreams and big goals who inspire me in that area of my life. And we also have people in our friendship circles who have beautiful connections and marriages, which inspire us. So have a think about what are the areas of alignment that you are seeking and where might you be able to find like minded people.

So when you are actually in these circles or at these events, how do you actually find your people inside those various communities? A couple of tips that I have for you here, firstly, get a bit uncomfortable and introduce yourself to other people.

I’m quite an extroverted person. So I don’t take it lightly that this is easier for me than it is for some other people. However, if you are wanting to meet new people, you do have to get a bit uncomfortable. And let me share an example of, of a way that I did this. I met a friend through some mutual friends at we were just at drinks at the bowls club and her and I just kind of clicked. And after the catch up, I went and looked through my friends, friends, and found her on there and I sent her a message on, on Facebook and said, Hey, it was really nice to connect with you, I’d love to catch up sometime. And her and I have actually hung out a couple of times since then. And is it a bit awkward? Yeah, it was even a little bit an extrovert like me it was a little uncomfortable. But sometimes we need to put ourselves out there. If there is someone that you think that you are going to click with or connect with.

Another thing that is really important is to be authentically you. Have you ever tried to be someone that you are not to impress other people? I know that I have, and it can be exhausting trying to keep up a facade.

You are amazing just the way that you are. And people are magnetized to authenticity rather than trying to pretend to be someone else. So just be you. If someone doesn’t like you or click with you, as you, then they’re not the right fit for you. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else. And similarly, I’m sure we’ve also all had this experience. Have you ever met someone and you think, Oh my gosh, they seem fake or they’re trying too hard. It’s a bit of a repellent, right? So be yourself and be confident in who you are. You don’t need to pretend to be anyone else.

The next couple of things to notice. When you are chatting to new people, don’t try and force connect… If it’s not there, you don’t need to force it. There are naturally going to be some people that you click with and really honor that intuition. Notice what your nervous system is telling you. Again, you may have had this experience in the past where there’s sometimes a feeling that you get around some people. Maybe it’s a feeling of, I don’t trust this person, or I don’t feel safe around this person. Listen to what your body is telling you. And if there is that sense of comfort, ease of effortlessness, then maybe that is a connection or a friendship worth pursuing.

So we’ve spoken a bit about how to find, how to make new friends. Who are going to be aligned with aligned values, vision, dreams, perhaps stage of life. How do you actually turn those connections into deeper soul sister type connections?

Well, first things first that I want to talk about here, I’m a big believer that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And there are sometimes people who you can have a really close friendship with for a period of time. And it was just that it was a season and perhaps one of you moves on, you evolve, you grow. Maybe you physically move on and you were close because of your physical proximity and then when you aren’t living close together, that connection still isn’t there.

Other times people come into your life for a reason. And I’m sure if you reflect on the relationships throughout your life; romantic relationships, friendship, relationships, professional relationships. Sometimes someone comes along for a very valuable learning lesson. Sometimes it might be a positive, beautiful learning lesson. I know that I’ve met some people throughout my life and, and we just had fun together. And it was just that season or that reason. Sometimes people come into your life to teach you a valuable learning lesson. And sometimes through hurt or pain or learning that someone is no longer in alignment with you, or perhaps something just happened in your relationship throughout the time that just taught you something very valuable in life.

And then there are other people who come into our world. Who are there for a lifetime, through thick and thin, through all the years, the seasons, the different proximities in which you live and they are your lifetime people.

It is okay for not all friendships, even close friendships to last forever. I don’t believe that they all are, but you know, really just notice and observe what is the lesson and what is the kind of relationship that exists there.

So a couple more tips about building, deepening relationships.

Firstly, is to be authentic. As I mentioned when you were trying to find your people. Be real with the people in your world. And I do believe there’s a fine balance between you know, sharing your challenges and what you’re going through and also not wanting to trauma dump. If you’ve ever been on the end of a friendship that is constantly feels heavy, like there is drama all the time coming from one particular party, you will know that it doesn’t feel like somewhere that you want to spend a lot of your time and energy. But equally, you don’t want someone to always be like, everything’s fine and not open up and share their challenges with you.

So it’s the same, what you’re bringing to the table as a friend as well. Can you be vulnerable and authentic with your friends and also not use them as your trauma dumping grounds? You still want to be able to enjoy your time together and have fun and be someone positive that they want to be around.

The next couple of things you want to value yourself, love yourself, and respect yourself with boundaries. So a lot of relationships come back to our confidence. Come back to how we feel about ourselves. And if you are someone who has low self esteem or struggle with low self esteem, you may know that sometimes people will take advantage if you don’t stick up for yourself and say, No, that’s not something that I feel comfortable with, or no, I don’t want to go and do that thing, it doesn’t really interest me or excite me. So a big part of actually deepening your connections is honoring and loving yourself. And sticking to your own personal boundaries.

Some more things that you want to do to deepen your friendships, your connections is to really be present. When you are with someone, be with them, listen to what they are saying, care about them. I know when I go and sit in a coffee shop or a restaurant these days, I feel a bit sad and you, you look around at the tables and even big groups of people are all sitting there on their phones. Can you put your phone on aeroplane mode or silent and just really be present in the moment with that person?

Another thing that it really helps to deepen your connection with people is to really care if you know that someone has something big going On can you check in on them? Can you ask him, Hey, how you doing? How you feeling? If you are wanting to have someone who is willing to share their life with you on a deeper level, you have to be willing to also show up and do the same.

A couple more tips that I have in this space is to make time for your friendships. I get it. I’m a mom. I’m a business owner. I’m president of a not for profit. I struggle to stay on top of all of the things, and to be honest, I am terrible at getting back to text messages straight away. But the friends in my world know that I show them that I care and I am reliable in other ways. And I do eventually get back to people. And I do put a lot of effort into keeping my connections, my friendships going. And that just means sending a text, sending an Instagram DM, putting in phone calls. Relationships, connections, take time and often people say, I don’t have time for this, and yet. You know, they find time for a couple of hours of Instagram scrolling each day. So can you really reach out to the people that you care about, reach out to your friends and just pop the messages? Just let them know that you’re thinking of them.

The last couple of things that I would say that I have found have really helped to deepen connections and friendships are being willing to have difficult conversations.

A lot of times someone might upset us. Or something might’ve happened and it’s easier just to gloss over it and pretend it didn’t happen. But the truth is that isn’t the way to really build trust and connection. It sometimes is to have those uncomfortable conversations. And coming along with that, I like to have a thing in my relationships where I assume good intent. And let me explain what I mean by that.

What happens with communication is that often one person is saying or doing something, and a second party is perceiving what is being done, or what is being said? It is very easy, particularly if you’ve had past trauma, if you’ve been bullied, if you’ve been pushed out of friendship circles before, to leap to assumptions when something is or isn’t happening. For example, if you see that a group of your friends have caught up without you, it’s very easy to think they hate me. No one wants me to be part of the friendship circle anymore. And I know that I have Incorrectly lept to those conclusions in the past. And this is where those difficult conversations come into play. You could reach out and say, Hey, I noticed that everyone caught up and I wasn’t there. You know, is there a reason that I wasn’t invited? You could seek to understand because as someone on the other side of that as well, I’ve also unintentionally, completely unintentionally arranged to catch up with one or two people and then invited another person along and then seeing someone else and invited them and completely unintentionally missed out another person in the friendship group. So when we are wanting, when we are perceiving what’s going on, sometimes we’re like, it’s black and white. This is exactly what happened. But we’re not taking time to think about what might happen from the other person’s perspective. So assume good intent. I presume that people in your world are there because you believe that they’ve got good hearts and you believe that they have good intentions. And so if there ever is a situation of conflict, seek to reach out, have the difficult conversation Assume the best, because hopefully that is what was unfolding. And even if it wasn’t, at least you can seek to have a deeper understanding about how each of you operate and see if there’s still an alignment for the friendship moving forward.

So today’s episode has been a bit of a biggie. I certainly don’t want to pretend that I am the perfect friend or that I haven’t had the Challenges in friendships over the years. But I would say I’m so incredibly blessed that I have friends from my childhood, from my university, from my school, from my corporate career, and from my business world, who I have really beautiful, deep, trusting, loving friendships with. And I know that it makes me a healthier, happier person. I’m incredibly blessed, blessed and grateful. And I truly want this for you.

Friendships not only increase your happiness in life, but they also have a, an actual impact on your physical health. People who have deep friendships have actually been shown to have less physical ailments and to actually live longer. So there you go. Having good friends is not only good for your, the way that you feel, but it’s actually also good for your body.

As I mentioned in the intro, if you are wanting to connect with people who are like minded, please do check out my retreat that is coming up in November at the Gold Coast. It’s a very small group. I would love to spend a couple of days hanging out. Helping you to not only meet new biz friends, but also to do some really deep work on helping you to make more money in your business. So all the details in the link in the show notes for today’s episode.

Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode has inspired you and expanded your thinking about how you can deepen your friendships and connections. And I cannot wait to chat to you again in next week’s episode of the Clare Wood podcast.

* Transcript created by AI – may contain errors or omissions from original podcast audio